JUST FRIENDS. (Bitter truth)

What if all this time I was really the one whom he truly loved? That I kept blinding myself that he doesn't love me like the way I do. That I just can't accept the fact that someone would love me, or at least that one person I've loved all along. That I just can't risk the chance of losing a best friend, because I know he's the BEST I've ever had? And I'm afraid that one day I'll end up hurting, and he can't comfort me because he is hurting, too...when compared to before when we would make each other feel light and alright but now we're the reason we are hurt. And maybe I'm afraid that we can't tell each other's secrets anymore because it would involve gaps between us.


Or maybe, just maybe, I was just being paranoid about things... that in reality, HE COULD REALLY NEVER LOVE ME BACK .... just friends.

*You and I*

YOU && i

through tough times...

through sweet moments...

it will always be you and I.

I’ve been in darkness for so long just waiting for the light,

And now that you have come my way, my days don’t seem like nights.

I’m glad I’ve finally overcome my fear of the other side,

Thank you for showing me the way, by taking me on this ride.

I’ve never really felt this way about a guy before,

You’ve truly touched me deep inside, you’ve opened and unlocked, the door.

I know it’s nothing serious, but surely it’s a start,

You’ve treated me so equally, I feel it in my heart.

And even if this does not work, I’m glad I’ve had this chance,

To see how great you truly are, even just for a glance.

We never know what’ll come of this, it really just depends,

I’m glad we’re taking the first step, we’re becoming better friends.

With you I never have to guess just how you really feel,

You talk to me about the facts and tell me what’s the deal.

With you I feel so comfortable, like nothing can go wrong,

I get this tingly feeling inside, you sing to me like a song.

I’m trying to live in the moment, by forgetting about the past,

And so far it’s been working, and it’s really been a blast.

So hopefully from this day forth, I’ll know just what to do,

If ever I come across a guy, I will never look for another, JUST YOU. 

Crying.

I thought crying all day would make the pain stop when you left me. But I realized it hurt more, knowing that you are not here anymore to wipe my tears whenever I hurt, to cuddle with me when I'm lonely, to soften my angry heart, to love me and be with me when I'm alone. 

If you keep on telling yourself to forget that one person whom you truly loved and thought you could never live without, you're just making it harder. You'll just miss him more than you are now. Why not give yourself a little time to clear your mind and rationalize things. Keep the happy memories and let the happiness feel alive again.Look back on the sad memories and serve as a lesson, for they make you a stronger person you are now. See, next time you'll know what you do. :)

School.

Ah! What a tiring year it will be. Yet, it's gonna be worth the sacrifices. <3

Got nothing more sensible to post. Hihi. <3

Tons of information.

**No scientific terms. (I promised myself I wouldn't, for better understanding.) Teehee.

So, here's what I've learned while studying Pharmacy. Well, not really the focus of my course, but our very *informative* and bubbly professor tells us bits of facts about how we can take care of our *PRAISE* body. (Because she herself is very conscious about her lifestyle, and she's generous she shared it to us, and now, I'm being generous, too because I'm telling these to you.Happy.) Wuhoo! So, moving on.

The first thing I'm gonna tell you, (or SHOW you) is the home-made OATNEY mask. I kinda just made that, OAT+HONEY=OATNEY. Hah! I can't think of anything.

INGREDIENTS: 
1. Honey

"Honey is sweet and yummy... and good for the skin, too!"

WAIT. ... Wuuu--haaaat?! Okay. SO, you've read it right. Not only honey is used as a flavorant, or a side flavor to mask bitter tasting-chemicals (yeah, FOOD), it is also VERY good for the skin.


The rationale: Honey keeps our skin supple, soft, hydrated and moisturized. (The last two are different terms.) It has antioxidant properties and also anti-microbial that help our skin be protected from harmful agents around us. It can also be used to minimize the pores, and also ... .TO TREAT one of the underlying source of ACNE! It is sometimes caused by hormonal imbalance, and honey can reduce the heat on the tissues, so the acne won't be inflamed.


2. Oats 
(Just in case you want to know, the SN is Avena sativa, Poaceae)

The rationale: Because of it's absorptive properties, it's very helpful, and it is promising when it comes to dry and itching skin. Also, it reduces the problems of skin irritation due to pollution, because it acts as a guard from outside bacteria. Oats extract is especially used in products that have a moisturizing and anti-aging effect, as well as in products that are used to alleviate acne, pimples and to treat problem skin.


TIP: Use organic oats as much as possible, to be safe -- free from artificial and inorganic fertilizer. 


3. Milk
Minerals present in milk: Calcium and Phosphorous are the main. Others include Magnesium, Potassium, Sodium and Chloride. (According to % constituent.)

 Milk is a good source of calcium. Oops, when it is absorbed INSIDE the body. But still, it has many benefits when applied externally.
The rationale: Milk is used to reduce skin irritation, relieve red spots, reduce allergic reactions in the skin and helps heal wounds. Nuff said, right?
**Also, there are some people who are lactose intolerant. So doing this would be the better alternative. (It's like faking that you TAKE milk. Haha.)


HOW TO PREPARE:
1. Gather the tools. Get a clean bowl, a hand towel, a clean spoon, and make sure that your hands are also clean. 
2. Put the oats first, then do a dipping motion using a spoon to carefully grind the oats. Then, add milk (small amount only), and mix them well. Add the honey, and mix them again.
3. If the mixture is not pasty, you may want to add oats, but make sure they are pounded to smaller bits.
4. Put in the fridge for at least 30 mins. to let it cool. It will have a calming and soothing effect if it's cold.

ON FACE: 
1. Use the back of a spoon to apply it to your face. I recommend using stainless steel type of spoon so that it will give you a cooling effect when applied. But don't put too much pressure on it, as your cells may either die, or it will over-generate (is there such word?) new cells.
You would want to leave the eye area alone, or else it will irritate your eyes, or it might get your eyebrows waxed. HAHA.
2. Wait for 10-15 minutes. (My brother stared at me while I was applying it, and he said I looked weird. Yeah, I know.)
3. Rinse after with warm water. Pat GENTLY with a soft towel or a tissue.
4. This is optional. Get an ice cube and rub on face. This is done to close your pores to prevent from bacteria invading your inside skin.


It's so delicious I can't help but lick the OATNEY whenever it comes near my lip. *YUM YUM*


Personally, I do this. After every OATNEY, I feel my skin smoother, and the redness suddenly goes away, and I just feel so light, and, hey, I can have a good night sleep. *giggle*
It's good for people who don't have much time for extra regimen, or those who are too busy working their head out. Also, for students, like me, who doesn't want to spend much $$$$ on  beauty routine. It's always better to stick to practicality, and of course it's safer because it doesn't incorporate synthetic ingredients which can further damage our skin.

Thanks for reading! xxoo




(Photos not mine. Credit intended.)

Girl Power!

"What if GIRLS do rule the world?"

Thanks Mr. Sun for cooperating. <3

Would you just let people pull you down? YOU SHOULDN'T! 

Stand out, girl. You go for it! 

El chica, be strong. 

Be true.

BE YOU.

And you know what, you've got a whole bazillion of girls behind you. 

--a little babbling. Since I haven't been posting for like ... forever. TEEHEE. <3

REVLON: "Stormy"

My second nail polish post! YAY!


Featuring: REVLON Top Speed Stormy nail polish.

(Front row. Background polishes from Etude House)

This is a warm-cool-taupe color fusion. 
It's like the PURRRR-fect color. It suits warm skin tones, (which makes your skin appear fairer and glowing, since it doesn't try to stand out, it's made to blend in.) 
Though if you have fairer skin, the taupe color won't stand out.


WOOHOOO: (pros)
1. The brush (nail polish applicator) is dense and thicker compared to polishes sold here in the Philippines, thus it makes the application easier to spread and neater to look at.
2. One coat is enough for opacity. But if you want to achieve the mauve taupe color, (more on the darker shade), you can apply 2 coats. For a perfect warm taupe color, one coat is ample. 
3. It's promising. When it said TOP SPEED, it really is. 
4. It's my 6th day today, and I can say it still looks presentable. (Though there are little chips on the sides because we played volleyball.)
5. It looks sophisticated. :3
6. Just like those people with fetish for nail polishes, I love the consistency and viscosity of this brand. It's not too sticky and not too viscid.
7. It doesn't stick on your nail and nail bed so it's easy to remove, and it's removed easily on the skin around the nail. 




EEENNNK: (cons)
1. It's NOT cheap! Like I always say, for a student like me, it's not budget-friendly.
*(Notice that I always say NOT *insert adjective here* instead of just saying the exact word? I'd like to give more emphasis, so the word NOT is used. :D )
2. Nuff said. >:3

fatty fat fat. *_*

Two coats of Storm.

*gulp* COFFEE LOVE! <3

And um.. Sorry for the messy polish. :">

The EMO poem.

The rain has stopped pouring,

The storm stopped devastating.

Even fishes stop when swimming,

But me, I haven’t stopped hurting.

The wind keeps the trees dancing,

The clouds kept hidden the sun peeking.

The stars above keep on shining,

And I got tired keeping on waiting.

Even doubts are made sure by asking,

And it always made me feel regretting.

All the promises made were meant to be broken,

Somebody has made my heart left open.

When will I forget anger and fighting?

And when will I forget about crying?

People learn from a philosopher’s reasoning,

A student learns from a teacher’s teaching.

A person learns from what he is experiencing,

It feels worse, when will I learn loving?

STOP. KEEP. MAKE. FORGET. LEARN.

Stop making broken promises.

Keep creating wonderful moments.

Make everything worth living for.

Forget the hurt and anger.

Learn to LOVE.

SELF-PROCLAIMED OPINION

If you love a person, don’t let her go. 

I don’t believe that letting go is a sign of true love. Rather, it’s a sign of weakness. Why? If you ask me, I would answer you with a question. Why would you stop if loving her is all that matters to you? I fancy sticking to the reverse side. Because you know what, if you really love a person but has decided to end that relationship between the two of you, you’ll prove to her how she’s going to miss a big chunk of her life if she let you go. Instead of situating yourself on the corner brooding about how your life is in a big mess because you broke up, try to be more productive, think of ways on how to bring the spark back, and the butterflies that fill your stomach because you just can’t take the waves of electricity in your veins. Think of how she will love you more and not wanting to ever let go again. Think of ways, AND DO THEM.

If you have to wait, then wait. It’s all going to be worth it in the end. If it’s not, then make the first move, even if it means doing the same things over and over again.

In love, there is no such thing as selfishness and pride in you.

Because the pride you have is the one you love.

There’s a Tagalog phrase I made up that kind of summarizes all of this babbling.

Here it goes,

“Mahal mo nga eh, bakit mo papakawalan?”

(You love her, why would you let go?)

Thinking of asking.

What if I never met you?

One question I always ask myself.
One question that always goes unanswered.
What really could be the answer? What SHOULD be the answer?
What if it wasn't bound to happen?
What if.. what if it's all unreal?


You filled my life with lots of memories worth-keeping. You filled my stomach with lots of butterflies. You filled my heart with love I've been longing for so long. You filled my mind with unending thoughts. You filled my imagination with fantasies that are bound to happen. You filled my laughter happiness. You filled my smile sparks. You filled my entire existence. You complete me.


I could imagine living my life without you. And believe me, IT SUCKS.
IT. KILLS. ME. JUST. THINKING. ABOUT. IT.

Parents' Signature

“I had parents’ consent!”

We often ask our parents’ signature for a number of reasons. First, when we need to abide tasks given to us. We use it as an excuse to not do it; we give them the perception that our parents had the compliance to allow us to be exempted. One very good example is what we are experiencing now, though given the fact that it’s not VALID. (C’mon, define VALID. *pft*) So, here’s how the story goes: there is this study period in our dormitory wherein we are all “OBLIGED” to attend. We sit there staring at unmitigated ceiling and walls, waiting for them to speak and tell us to stop gawking. Oops, I mean, wherein we must study to become good and responsible interns, at the same time a successful person in the making. But wishful thinking, there shouldn’t be any study period or some sort like it. Who would want to be dragged to the study hall and be forced to study? Okay, exaggeration, but again, who would want to study in a crowded area, where murmurs are gradually increasing and becoming chitchats, then all of a sudden it becomes clamour, then here comes the mighty matron, trying to save the day and she purses her lips, makes a sshhh sound, and viola! SILENCE. It’s like more of a cycle to me, the same things happen, silence-murmurs-chitchats-clamour-silence. *sigh* It’s getting on my nerves already! So, stop babbling for a moment and get to the point. We thought that if we let our parents write us a letter regarding the exemption from the study period, they would let us to do so as we wanted. But we’re wrong as big as a ton! They still wouldn’t let us! *urgh* Makes no sense, right? LET’S TAKE THE DARN BUILDING DOWN! GO! GO! GO! ROGER THAT! Kidding! 

Moving.

How can I move on if every place I go reminds me of you? If in every song I hear relates with our experiences together, and it just can't stop playing in my head over and over (and over) again. If everyone I talk to I imagine that it's you, or worse I wish that it is really you I'm talking to? If everytime I see couples I can't help but feel envious and pity myself because I'm here, standing all alone, regretting everything that was said and done? HOW THE HELL?


I've finally found my path going opposite your way. I decided to go on my own because I don't want to see you again, even just a glimpse of you will bring back all the heartache I felt. When I reached the end, I saw you waiting there. How was that possible? I've tried everything I can to avoid you, to avoid every memory of you, memory of US. 


But I just can't. I. JUST. CAN. NOT. I can't escape visions of you. I can't escape my head picturing us together. I can't escape these feelings for you. I can't escape my mind telling me that I can't take you leaving me. I can't escape my heart feeling that I still love you.I can't escape myself, my own self in every bit I can to forget you. WORST. It feels like it's just all inevitable.

You keep coming back. You keep coming back. WHY DO YOU KEEP COMING BACK?
I'm tired. Aren't you?